After an array of power cuts this morning, I've finally managed to upload the 5 draft sequences. From this stage, it's a solid week of refining all the parts that I don't like or simply aren't working. The sequence for track 10 is the roughest so far, but most of the others are very close to completion.
Track 02
Track 02
Track 04
Track 05
Track 06
Track 10
It will be good to go back and look at each section in detail now that I've had some time away from them all. Crits and suggestions at this stage will be super helpful.
Hey jordan :)
ReplyDeleteOkay - some feedback:
I reckon track five needs to get busier still - with smaller, harder components, and also, if it's not impossible, I think this track could do without the central rotation; you've got a central spin in many of your segments, but this one - does it need that motif? Certainly, when all those pink/blue discs fall from the above - this feels a bit sedate and not 'lunatic' enough - the music at this point as slices of trumpets, which feel like slashing or streaking cues. Likewise, the pink hypno-disc feels too soft and a bit demure on its own. There's a definite colour preference going on here - and I just feel that maybe you need to agitate these sequences a bit more and perhaps think more discordantly in terms of adding additional elements; I'm not suggesting that you junk anything - but rather inject something contradictory or agitating. I suggest you take a look again at some of the original speed paintings and consider a few 'foreign bodies'. Put more simply, I think this section should feel more frenetic and a bit more exhausting. It feels as if it runs out of puff. One thing you might consider Jordan is actually cutting this sequence up and re-assembling sections 'out of sequence' in a more Dada-style and likewise, you could razor blade the section up into smaller sections and then in AE, change the saturations of the sections, so while the flow of shapes doesn't change, there's some flashes of different, conflicting hues and tones. I just feel that this sequence is too demure and too controlled and too similar to some of the others, when this track is the jazziest and least 'mesmeric' - it just needs to be more avant-garde somehow, and I'd try something radical and instinctive - and also be prepared to embrace colour etc. that is not of your personal preference, because I do think that this might be a contributory factor.
re. the feedback above - it relates to the third clip down from the top!
Deletein general terms, Jordan, there is a clear set of preferences in all sections - shapes, composition, colour - and that's not an issue because Tom's sequences are so radically different, so I think they're going play well with each other - with your sections feeling more restive and Tom's more anarchic. That said, I would just look at some of your colour choices (for example, the cyan in your final video, which does seem to be classically 'Jordan') and also maybe think about playing against the dominant 'softness' and diffusion of much of your sequences; don't be afraid of actual shapes and harder edges - look again at some of the speed paintings and just see if you can put some structure back in - for example, the fourth video is so impressionistic that I begin to crave a bit of delineation or definition at times.
ReplyDeleteI want to be careful here, because the key thing about this project is the right of the art directors to take the work where they want, but there's just a slight sense when viewed together of a slight anxiety about working with shapes/colours etc. that are not naturally 'your own'.
Ok, I think I'm on the same page. Track 10 and Track 5 are the two I'm most unhappy about at the moment. They are the two pieces that I've feel like I've not really concentrated on properly.
ReplyDeleteThe other 3 tracks have elements I really like, parts of which I'll push a lot further. But as a whole, Track 2, 4 and 6 feel like they are heading in a good direction. And a direction that I feel is a different approach to Tom. I'm keen to make sure I don't follow a similar methodology to Tom, purely because I think the contrast of the two approaches will be more interesting and refreshing in overall experience.
But you are right, Track 05 and 10 have problems and I need to seriously rethink these. I think I might start over again on Track 10 but some time away from them for a day or two will help. I need to go in with a fresh mind and cut these to pieces. Either way, I'll try and update once I've figure it out.